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Thursday, November 12th, 2009
3:43 pm - So I wonder...
Do you ever have one of those days... you know those days. Those days where you're sitting there, trying to find a moment of your own to breath and suddenly you're nostalgic.

You remember years spent in youth talking to friends online. You recall the role playing, the bickering and drama. You remember the good and the bad. You remember you had close friends and certain ancient souls to give advice. You also recall you used to annoy the shit out of people, back before you grew up and you smile, because of the Nostalgia.

So I wonder what happened to those people?

Kim, Kara, Jeremy, Lilly?
Lucian and Tamara, Ann, Daniel, Ruth and Julia.
Brandy, Wally and yet again Daniel.

Wow.. there were so many people. Years have gone by and still I stop to wonder what happened to everyone. They say when you reminisce on days gone by, that is when you get old. However, they are wrong. You get old because you believe you get old, but that's okay. Nostalgia is bittersweet and we all have to reflect sometime, before picking up where we paused and moving on.

current mood: curious

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Wednesday, July 15th, 2009
4:47 pm
I"M BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK! 

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Saturday, May 5th, 2007
3:51 am - rot
By fate this longing has descended,
and all my dreams have been bended,
broken hearts and ashen kisses,
vacant stars and hollow wishes...
I dream in colours of asphalt grey,
wishing these demons would stay away,
but now I know because I can see,
none of you ever gave a fuck about me,
so i'll give back what you gave me,
a kohl black heart.. and the death of eternity
cherub kisses and masqueraded parts,
facaded smiles and lolly rots..
your all fucked because of dread,
you cant save me now i'm already dead.

and even if I could go home,
I'd still be nothing less,
than flesh blood and bone,
alchol and forgotten lots,
and with this now I hope you rot...
au revoir

current mood: pessimistic

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Tuesday, March 7th, 2006
8:10 am
I'm so emotionally wasted...
and physically im drained which doesnt help i think i need to sleep
x.x

current mood: exhausted

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Sunday, June 26th, 2005
11:42 pm - hah
random boredom

LiveJournal Username
Fifteen men on a dead man's chest!
Cutlass or pistol?
What is the name of your pirate ship?
Where is your secret pirate base?
What kind of loot do you prefer?
What do you and your crew prefer to be called?
Parrot or monkey?
Argh!
Your capable first mateemocore_stars
Your bumbling cabin boy with a heart of goldivoryfires
The aloof, yet honorable, pirate with a mysterious pastluciangrey
Is always the first one into the frayresidualfear
Is the naval officer who ruthlessly pursues your shipsath
Is the comical pirate who is always drunk on grogdarkksanctuary
Is currently in Davy Jones's lockerdevildoll_666
The amount of money you make as a pirate$181,632
This Fun Quiz created by Lynn at BlogQuiz.Net
Aries Horoscope at DailyHoroscopes.Biz



current mood: blank

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3:04 pm - an age old question
and yet again i keep asking myself
why do I even FUCKING bother

current mood: irritated

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Thursday, May 26th, 2005
1:39 am - Happy Birthday Mushroom Head
Happy Birthday.. To The Other Piece Of My Soul I Lost Almost Two Years Ago..
I hope you have a good one...

meh..
I <3 you mushroomhead..

its all gone now..
where are my pixie sticks..
rum punch..
need.. alcohol...
eggs n bacon...
nah.. i'll stick to my green liquid fire..

current mood: crushed

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Saturday, April 9th, 2005
12:21 am - Two Stones Worlds Apart.. Blah Blah Continued From Last Entry
So I finally manage to drag "D" out of ambers house.. he drops me off at home and goes home to work a 12 hour shift.. i wake up the next day to Maria coming over.. she was supposed to stay with me last weekend.. she did.. and "A" was all like.. "Can i stay?"
finally i got tired of hearing her whining i said she could stay one fucking night only because i didnt want her daughter around R and J because i've heard they do other shit besides natural stuffs..

so she ended up parking here until monday.. trashed my house after maria and i cleaned it from top to bottom my room was half done..
ugh i could just scream
i went to bed friday night with a pack and a half of smokes
woke up with NONE zip zero ziltch..
she smoked all of them then denied having coe in my room while i was sleeping..
ive had the most fucked up two weeks of my life
oh and then "Geesa" as mom calls her called me today..
and was like Yo guess who im hangin wit?
brings the m other fucker jacob over to my house..
i went in the bathroom for one fucking minute with her and he runs out my front door
i warned him if anything came up missing.. that
he'd be sorry
we go to wataga to wait for "J" to get home Geesa's husband..
and he drops jake off.. then me.. i go to play a game
and ALL OF MY GOD DAMNED PLAYSTATION GAMES ARE GONE
mine.. and my moms
clocktower 3 which i had to pay for TWICE thanks to an ebay glitch..
blood omen 2 which was a gift from jaime..
silent hill 2 (my moms game)
and my moms 60 dollar Castlevania: Lament Of Innocence game is gone

you god damned right i called the pigs..
let him try to say something about getting high around me..
mother fucker wouldnt leave me alone the whole night.. sat on my lap.. blew shit in my face.. ugh
im so pissed i could just go stab him to death.. im sick of this shit.. she's gonna hear it tomorrow i swear to god because.. im gonna rip her a new ass i TOLD her i didnt want him here and she shows up with him anyways..
im gonna start cutting these losers out of my life.. im done working for shit to have it broke/stolen ect..

current mood: enraged

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Tuesday, April 5th, 2005
2:47 am - Here Lies Two Stones.. Two Names.. Once Best Friends.. Now Worlds Apart..
I finally lost it.. thursday night I got sick of all the bullshit.. of everybody who "claims" to be my "friend" and all that shit walking all over me. "A" had one of her whining episodes.. and then threw a guilt trip at me and I snapped hardcore. it all started when she called around 2pm .. mom was still in school.. and she was like.. "How are you feeling Babe...?" "I feel like shit.." I groaned and looked around trying to find my glasses n pried my sick ass off the couch where I had slept twelve plus hours. "You need anything at the store...?" "huh.. i don't have any money.. I'm fine... why?" (everything was fine.. she even offered to get me a humungo bag of cough drops which was cool.
"Thats not what i asked babe.. i asked if you wanted or needed anything"
Me: "Cough drops..... would be lovely.. my throats killing me"
her: "alrighty.. I'll be over as soon as I can"


Six Hours Later...

Still no sign of her so I curled up on the couch.. flipped through the channels and found something that remotely interested me (king of the hill) .. when a commercial came on I flipped through some more channels memorizing where it was on.. and was captivated by an opera/play... sure enough Its prolly a third of the way through it.. i didnt catch the name of it.. but I was enthralled.. it was lovely...
twenty minutes later.. a horn BLAIRES OBNOXIOUSLY through the play.. so I look outside and amber hollers to me.. "COME ON.."
So instead of getting up off her fat ass to get out of the car and come to my door to knock.. she woke up my nextdoor neighbor who is like 70 something.. and just got to sleep.. drags my sick ass out of the house to rub to "Springs" house to get her tarot cards. No big deal.. well we run to T's house and she's like.. stay with mercede's. I'll brb..


Half hour later...

we get back my show is ending.. she bitches to me for twenty minutes to give her a tarot reading..
Finally entirely annoyed by now.. I agree.. Then NOT ONLY
does she proceed to critisize me.. she whips out a bag of Mary jane.. and starts breaking it up..
so we get into a big arguement over it.. I told her to get the fuck out..
she leaves.. comes back stoned out of her mind..
and a friend of mine showes up after work.. and he hates drugs anyways.. i have no problem with natural substances.. I just dont want them in my god damned house.. end of story.


So we got into it when he was here.. heres the story.

Her: Why won't you fucking come stay with me.. I'm tired.. I have my daughter with me.. and I don't want to fall asleep at the wheel.
Me: I Can't Stay.. I Already told you why like five fucking times jesus christ.. what do you want me to do .. I will come with but only if he can follow us and give me a ride home I DO HAVE RESPONSIBILITIES UNLIKE YOU
Her: Fuck you.. you sit on your fat ass.. I have a kid.. ..
Me:.... did you just say fuck me?
Her: .... crystal... your eyes are changing colors....
me: Did you just say fuck me? *Slowly setting down my coffee cup*
Her: yes... you have no responsibilities...
me: fuck me...? (I think shock set in.. or something inside me finally snapped because I lost it)
Me: FUCK ME????????? FUCK ME>?!??! !NO FUCK YOU YOU FUCKING LAZY WHORE!!!!!!!!!! WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU TO TELL ME I HAVE NO RESPONSIBILITIES? YOU CANT EVEN TAKE CARE OF THE KID YOU HAVE LET ALONE THE ONE IN YOUR STOMACH YOU DRUG ABUSING CUNT.. DONT YOU EVER SIT THERE AND SAY FUCK ME.. FUCK ME ??!?!?!!? I'LL FUCKING SHOW YOU FUCK ME.

At this point she stood up like she was gonna hit me and I drew back my fist

Me: Go ahead... it will be the last thing you ever do...
her: don't even fucking play with me
me: I'm done playing games.. i've tried to help you change your life.. your constantly whining about how your ex supposedly bugged you and can hear what your saying.. i think doing meth with him twacked your brain.. I want no part of this anymore.. I don't do the shit
her: neither do i anymore
me: yeah well you dont act like it.. i think it fucked you in the long run.. don't ever tell me fuck you.. YOU AND YOUR GOD DAMNED FRIENDS HAVE STOLE MY SHIT TRASHED MY HOUSE THOUSANDS OF TIMES I KEEP FORGIVING YOU NOT ANYMORE DONT EVER PLAY NO GUILT TRIP BULLSHIT ON ME GOD DAMNED YOU OR I WILL MAKE SURE YOU REGRET IT AND THATS NOT A THREAT THATS A PROMISE
Her: You've stole plenty of shit from my house
Me: NO IM NOT LIKE YOU YOU FUCKING DUMB CUNT YOU DONT GET IT ANYTHING I EVER TOOK FROM YOUR HOUSE I HAD YOUR PERMISSION TO TAKE SO DONT GO THERE
Me: WE'RE SO FUCKING DIFFERENT ITS NOT FUNNY
her: WE'RE ONE AND THE SAME YOUR JUST LIKE ME
Me: No .. your wrong.. dead wrong.. i haven't sucked off or fucked every other man who looked sideways at me.. .. I havent ended up knocked up.. not once.. but twice in a row.. like you... and if i did.. i would take care of my children.. not spend my time whoring around.. ect ect
her: fuck you you know nothing about raising children
me: I KNOW A GOD DAMNED LOT MORE THAN YOU I HELPED RAISE MY NEICE AND NEPHEW NO IN FACT I DID IT FOR YEAAAAAAAAAAARS WHILE BOTH OF THEIR PARENTS WORKED SO DONT FUCKING TELL ME I DONT KNOW ABOUT KIDS CAUSE I'LL MAKE A BETTER MOM THAN YOU EVER WILL
her: what the fuck is your problem why are you being this way

Me: *slams coffee cup into sink watching as it shattered into fragments* "D" will you follow us to burlington....
D: yeah.. sure
Me: Get in the car..... and dont say another fucking word
Her: .....
me: NOW!

her:... Crystal... i'm sorry...
me: I said.. go get in the fucking car...




thats not even the whole arguement just half..
im sick of her treating me like shit.. like she's so much better than me.. shes not.. her and i are worlds different..
she needs to get her head out of her ass and wake up..
i just wanted her to fucking give her daughter a diaper change and a bottle.. and she starts guilt tripping me because i wont ride home with her.
SHE SHOULDNT HAVE SMOKED SO MUCH DOPE AND SHE WOULD HAVE BEEN ABLE TO DRIVE
god damned she's so stupid...

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1:42 am
After scraping through my house for six fucking hours of endless hell, arguing with my mom, and listening to her scream at me how I need to eat something.. I forced myself to choke down a skippy snack bar.. mmmmm peanut buttery wax.. thats all it tasted like to me.. wax.. i can barely taste anything.. let alone breathe.. I refuse to let her take me to the doctors.. I'm done being picked n prodded at.. they can't fucking fix me.. if they could they would have along time ago..
I ate the pizza she ordered none the less and am drinking coffee and chain smoking. HA There's something I shouldn't be doing since I can't breathe very well.. smoking.. but personally I couldn't be forced to give a rats ass.. the past week has taken its toll on me.. I'm absolutely fucking exhausted.. after trying to clean up my house repeatedly.. people running in and out...
i don't even know where to begin so i'm just gonna go dig through the music on my computer.. take a big ol drink of this coffee.. and begin my bitching since I havent updated for awhile..

current mood: worried

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Friday, April 1st, 2005
4:18 am - Til Death Do Us Part My Ass
THAT DIRTY MOTHER FUCKER SHOULD BE SHOT IN THE HEAD..
if she was such a vegetable then why did they show her hugging her mom and such..
thats murder.. i think her husband shouldn't have any say so in the remains of his wife.. he denied her own family from being there in the last moments of her life..
it sickens me..
i dont care who i miss off.. this shit makes me mad..
nobody has the right to play god..
thats fucking bullshit
love honor and obey? bah..
castrate him i say..
"she died with a stuffed animal under one arm cradled by her husband"
*chokes* yeah i bet thats how it happened.. the poor girl... the press said she couldnt feel suffering.. bullshit.. absolutely bullshit.. people like this make me ashamed to be alive.. on this planet.. full of ignorant fucks..

current mood: enraged

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Sunday, March 27th, 2005
10:09 pm - TLMF: Two Lolli's Are Better Than One
"Wake up princess" he poked her and she rubbed her eyes groaning, the shiny orb in the sky piercing her blind for a few minutes. "WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT?!" she hissed trying to claw her way back under the covers. "We call that the sun" he pulled the covers off of her head flashing her a devilish grin. "Wakey wakey" he crooned as she pouted, "Eggggggs n baccy" he held up a rolled cylander.. and judging by the ends of it it wasn't a cigarette. After closing the blinds and cracking a few of the hotel windows they glassbowled the room thick with smoke having stuffed the cracks to the door with towels and clothing to keep the smoke inside except for the window.. which nobody was able to be high enough to smell it. "Eggs n bacy is so .. old" she blurted out suddenly as he cracked her in the head with one of his lollipops. "Ow!!!! HEY! its SHAKE N BAKE AND I HELPED" she laughed rolling around on the bed until she panted for air. "Stoned randomness Betty crocker" he teased and she snickered behind her hand. "So ... how did you do it?" he asked and she went serious..

After a few hours of smoking and discussion they took a tour of the city.. he seemed to know it better than her.. she didn't mind she felt safe with him. Free... from human laws and vices.. hey who doesnt have their addictions" she thought and smirked... "Some of them destroy us though" he had said when she asked him about his. They hit the mall buying random shit for fun, when they were done trying on feathered boa's and feeding their faces she had froze her smile had faded. "What.." he asked and she turned to leave.. "Wait.." he pulled her close as she grew more agitated. "Out.. " She breathed looking towards the exit "need.. out" he leaned forward glancing behind as he reached up to the cloak hanging above her and pulled it down surrounding them with it..... his mouth found hers as he pulled her closer still. For minutes neither of them moved.. or seemed to breathe.. their mouths locked.. warring at eachother until finally the store clerk cleared her throat breaking through the haze of sudden madness.. "Ahem... i hate to interupt you" she started and he tossed the cloak to her scoping to make sure the store was empty... "We'll take it" he flashed a cheeky grin which made her blush.. and on the way out grabbed a bag full of candy tipping his new hat he also had bought to her.. "A thousand thanks madam" and with that he drug her out of the mall back to the hotel. "You okay?" he asked when were safe inside the room and she had calmed down. "yeah.. i'm fine i just... .. "Hey... it was that couple wasn't it?" he brushed her hair from her face as she lowered her eyes. "I didn't expect to run into Jim while I was here.. not yet anyways" she shivered as he pulled her close stroking her hair.. "Relax love... it will come in time.. remember two evils.. are better than one" and with that he kissed her until they both fell asleep.. stoned.. and content..

current mood: crazy

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9:17 pm - The Lollipop Murder Files: SoulMates In Blood...
The call came early.. no warning signs. no symptoms.. she had just had a sore throat and a slight fever.. her magenta hair soaked with the rain that suddenly drenched the streets.. she had no time to think about where she was going.. her eyes burned from the cosmetics.. or maybe it was the visine she had used to keep the redness from her tear streaked face.. she was done crying.. it was time for people to start paying everything she had cared about.. seemed like ashes and dust.. so far away like the town she planned to pay a visit to.

Along the highway she clutched her backpack tighter, fingertips snaking down for the knife in her pocket the headlights behind her began to slow down.. they were going to stop and ask her for a ride. "Hey beautiful" she heard a man say.. but the voice didn't seem to give off any kind of bad vibration so she let go of the knife.. still ever concious of it in her pocket... she leaned over to peer inside the window, "Love the hair... where you headin? want a ride?" he asked and she smiled when he offered her a smoke, with a nod she climbed inside and fastened her seatbelt accepting the light that was also offered to her. They conversed the whole way there.. she found out he was going to see his boyfriend since they were having problems.. and that the last girl he dated had broke his heart. She noticed his eyes instantly.. and flashed a smile when he offered her his email address. He reminded her of an old fashioned gentlmen.. polite and very well mannered.. he almost reminded her of her friend from the netherlands.. He gave her a hug goodbye when he dropped her off two blocks from the house she was going to. "Take care.. and don't ever let anybody step on your toes princess" "Goodbye pixie goth" she flashed a smile in a better mood now.. which only seemed to fuel her hidden intentions.

Noone saw her go inside the house.. and noone saw her leave. She checked her pocket for his pager number a few hours later having made it to a 24 hour restraunt... she didn't know if she should but somehow she trusted him.. if not it would be her mistake and she knew it well.. she paged him and when she managed to talk to him.. he said he was headed back to a town not far from hers. "I'll be glad to give you a ride.." he offered.. once again the gentlmen and she grinned wider. When he arrived he ordered a cup of coffee and studied her face. "You alright..?" he asked as she took out a map studying it and she made a little red x over the state of illinois" "I'm fine.. just thirsty" she said and finished off her caraffe of liquid caffiene. They ended up ordering breakfast and both of them ate franticly as if trying to race a storm. "You alright?" she asked watching him.. noticing his backpack as well. "yep" he nodded as if distracted.. she went to put her map away but he stopped her. Taking out a Permanent blue sharper.. that was a few shades lighter than his hair and made an X smaller than hers.. so it looked like a purple x with pink and blue tips on both sides. He smiled as she froze lifting her eyes from her half empty plate of food as he put the marker away clasping his hands to his cheek he leaned his head forward and flashed a dazzling smile. For a moment neither of them smoke.. her eyes flickering with recognition and she went to ask something when he took out something that instantly made recognition sweep over her face. Her rigid body relaxed as he slid a hand over to take hers in his. It was warm.. reassuring.. and all together soothing. She wasn't alone in this...

After the food was gone they left a tip folding up the map and she put it back inside her bookbag. They left hand in hand.. they had alot of driving to do before they made it to their net destination. Like ghosts they simply vanished..


The FBI chief walked in after the photo's were done.. his hand reaching out to spin a chair... half strung on.. half strung off the lifeless body seemed to smile up at him... from ear to ear there was a thin line.. as though it had been done by a scalpel.. in exact precision.. the words on the wall in the victims blood reflexted in the egg whites of her glossed eyes. "On your knee's baby you'll be a star.. and i'll be your number one scar.. open up wide.. let me inside.. i'll bury in deep... now bleed bitch bleed..." "what do you make of it?" one of the people taking pictures asked. "Who knows.. but i do know one thing for god damned sure" he said swallowing hard as he rubbed a hand over his neck as if trying to fight off the demons that plagued his mind. "What's that sir?" the younger officer asked... "I'll Never Eat Candy again..."

The waitress smiled picking up the tip and deposited the wrappers in the garbage to the young couples sweets. Thousands of miles away she drove while he slept.. a smile pasted on her face as she dug in her pocket and found a Tootsie Lollipop.. throwing the wrapper out the window she grinned popping it inside her mouth. It was going to be a long 59k miles.. she was going to have to stock up again... and in his sleep he rolled over hugging her free arm. he opened his eyes for a moment licking his dry lips.. and their smiles met. leaving their secret in the air between them. his lips were blue.. so very blue... just like his eyes..
the empty candy stick in the ashtray as she lit a smoke.

The FBI Officer Crawled into bed exhausted.. there was no dna left behind.. nothing no witnesses... nothing to even begin to go by.. the woman had so many people pissed off at her he didnt know where to begin. He fell asleep dreaming of the woman.. who layed half on.. half off the chair at a grotesque angle. She hadn't died from her throat being slit.. she had died by suffocating... the white sticking out of her neck.. in a small millimeter strand.. was discovered to be a lollipop stick. The woman had died by choking to death on a lollipop.

The map flapped in the breeze as she studied it.. and they both nodded as he curled up to sleep again. Next Stop.. Oregon...

current mood: crazy

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Sunday, February 27th, 2005
5:21 pm
With liquid skies filling my brain,
and absent minded times filled with chaos,
I take the time to be still..
and breathe..
just breathe and soak it all in like a sponge..
and now i've decided what i must do...
i NEED something more than this little city..
and its bad habits and addictions..
I've kept clean so far..
and I'll wipe away the tally marks,
of the times I have been less than a saint..
in my own shoes I shall walk.. and noone else's..
I'm not a doormat..
I'm a person..
and I intend to go all the way...
if I want something..
I'll get it.. even if it means getting my hands "dirty" with labor..
I know who I am now..
and nothing.. not a god damned person is gonna stand in my way now

current mood: devious

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Tuesday, February 22nd, 2005
10:13 am - NAWLINS!!!!
W00TNESS! I get to go to new orleans (for you northern folk)
and guess what GUESS WHAT?
I MIGHT GET TO SEE MY LADYVALKIERI AKA KRISTEN
YAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAAYAYAYAYAYAAYAYAYAYAAYAYAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
oh and did i mention YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
:D :D :D :D :D
*bounces about all hyper like having just finished her third pot of coffee.. has a heart attack n dies then is kick started by caffiene and jumps around some more*
YA A YA YA YA YA YA YAYAYYYYYYYYYYAYAYAAAAYAYAYAYAY
I DONT WANT TO WORK TODAY
I WANT TO STAY HOME AND PLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY
YA YA YA YA YAYAYYAYAYAYAYAY
YA!

ok
LMAO! time for me to go
ugh.. nauseas
LUFFER!
~gropes n lix n lesbian spanks~ (if you dont get it.. then chances are i'm more than likely NOT TALKING TO YOU lol)
bye bye
~skips off


oh and did i mention
I AM A FUCKING MORON!!!!!! HAHAHAH

current mood: bouncy

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Monday, February 14th, 2005
9:11 am - Remorse.. Solitude.. I NEED To Breathe.. and just be
The dam has broken.. and with it comes a flood of memories i cannot fight off..
I struggle to embrace them.. as though they were solid flesh.. discovering they aren't. disillusioned.. I watch them fade.. cold like winter.. and grey. So many things have happened... over the years..
and I've grown up.. to the sober mind frame.. though I always was sober.. just not in this reality
I see them grow.. as a family.. something I myself never quite fully had..
and tears.. for the first time.. bleeding..
words alone mere words cannot express this agonized wrenching..
I need to be alone.. I need to be able to breathe.. but instead I reach out like a babe drowning in my tears.. to try and grasp a world that i never truely belonged to to begin with...
and my heart breaks again.. bitter and empty. and cold like winter...
bitter and achrid it burns...
the taste of remorse on my tongue


I Regret... You

current mood: melancholy

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Thursday, January 20th, 2005
9:38 pm - Ashes And Mud, Bone And Blood
Everything I touch turns to shit..
x.x

current mood: crushed

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Tuesday, November 16th, 2004
12:46 am
I WANT some darker template sites.. so i can find a template for the new diary at diaryland im making..
poop..
migraine.
~dies~

current mood: annoyed

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Thursday, November 11th, 2004
2:01 am - Swallow Hard
great so i got a sick ( as in health wise) and suicidal mom..
my depressions worse..
and i feel like eating a bullet myself..
but im not.. im fucking trying to get my shit together..
but thats kinda hard when you have no life..
so before i have a BF..
aka a bitch fit..
im going to go lay down..
n swallow down my memories of...
-him-

current mood: depressed

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Friday, October 22nd, 2004
4:52 am
Forty days wont break a man. it was the bullet in his head...
One more time and you'll be dead.. at least I think thats what they said
forty days wont break a man it was the bullet in his head.

"listen while i load my gun he said to me,
something bout a chosen one its comin back to me,
listen while i taste the sun he said to me,
something bout a chosen one...
you'll never be"



I cant sleep
i need a fucking miracle..
money is fucking tight again.. i just wish i was down south..
where a few certain people actually give a rats fucking ass about me..
im cranky..
i dont feel well..
and my mom is dieing ever so slowly
if you dont like what i have to so

GO FUCK YOURSELF IN THE ASS HARD RUNNING SIDEWAYS WITH A TEN FOOT POLE
AND YES IT IS POSSIBLE

>.<
Fuck this im crawling onto the couch.. and staring at the wall until i 1. either pass out or 2. krist comes on so i can talk to her..
god damned dreams..

current mood: crushed

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